Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Floating

Sampe umur saya setua ini, entah kenapa saya nggak tau hidup saya mau dibawa kemana. Nggak kebayang sama sekali 5 atau 10 tahun lagi bakal jadi apa. Saya belom nemu passion saya apa, dibidang apa, entah di bidang lanskap atau bukan, kalo di bidang lanskap juga nggak tau spesifiknya di maintenance atau kontraktor, atau konsultan. Jujur saya ngiri sama temen2 saya yang udah menemukan passionnya dan udah many steps ahead than me...

Saya inget Tiara, temen saya dari SMA yang juga suka nge-blog, pernah nulis tentang ini juga beberapa bulan yang lalu. Her post perfectly describe my exact feeling right now. 


ps: Dear Titi (if you read this post), just so you know, when I read that post, I felt like screaming "INI GW BANGET!" deep inside my heart. Hahaa.. Have you found your passion now by the way? If you did, please kindly tell me how.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Ear Bleeding Potential

Holla!

I just made a Soundcloud account finally. And this is my first recording. I sang The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson. It's not a really difficult song, but it got me 5 times to take vocal. There's a loooott of missing pitch-control here and there. Haha! But don't you ever underestimate my skill in singing, you don't know that I've been a vocalist in a band when I was still in college. You believe it? No? Hahaa,, whatever!


By the way, this song is for my boyfriend that is far faraway, though I know he doesn't get internet connection right there. ExtraƱo su besos bebe! :*

Bye!

Sunny Day in Taman Mini Indonesia Indah

Holla!

Dari kemarin-kemarin pengen ngeblog cuma bingung mau post apa.. Ehm, sebenernya ga bingung sih, there are soooooo much thoughts swirling in my mind lately, but I was too lazy to write it down. Well,  posting some late pictures aja yaa..

Jadi dua minggu yang lalu, pada hari minggu, saya diajak Ami ke TMII, yep Taman Mini Indonesia Indah. Saya lupa kapan terakhir kali kesana, tapi yang jelas nggak pernah ada yang berkesan, so did that sunday. Haha! Of course! It was damn hot freakin sunday! And it's veeerrryyy crowded, both people and vehicles! 

Tujuan utama kesana adalah nemenin Ami ikut halal bihalal daerah Tanjung Balai, tempat si Ami berasal. Tiket masuk TMII gratis, ditanggung sama acara halbil Tanjung Balai. But free entrance didn't really tempted me by the way, because you only have to pay 10k and it's not a big expense compare to other tourism spots in Jakarta like Dufan. 
Jadi sebenarnya abis acara halbil, saya, Ami, dan Ika berencana piknik. Yes picnic! Kita bertiga udah janjian bawa bekal. Tapi pas sampe sana liat orang dan mobil bejubel, niat piknik pun dibatalkan. Dan ternyata hari itu hampir di semua anjungan lagi ada acara halal bihalal. It's a reaaally wrong time to visit TMII that day. 
Akhirnya abis acara halbil, kita cuma masuk ke salah satu rumah adat di anjungan Sumatra Utara sebentar dan abis itu memutuskan buat sepedaan keliling TMII. It's quite fun, although I still couldn't stand the heat. Bike rent costs 10k/hour and one hour was totally enough for me. 

met Ami's friends, expressive Bataknese girls ;)
traditional dance  
Anjungan Sumatra Utara
love being candid. haha!
mau naik ini tapi antriannyaa.. rrr..
ignore our kucelness please..

That's it. I think it would be better plan a picnic day in TMII on weekdays. That's one of my not-yet-accomplish plan with my boyfriend. 

Will post more pictures soon. 

Bye!


ps : teman-teman, mau nanya dong, kalian bisa ngeblog dari blackberry, android, iphone, atau other mobile phones nggak? cause I can't. Udah pake download blogger app-nya loh padahal. Any solutions? Thx :))

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Childhood Paintings

Hola! 

Lately I need something to keep me busy, to make me forget about stressful job hunting. Sigh.
Then, I found my friends' Path account and she posted a lot of her water painting works and those amazed me. 

I used to have that hobby when I was still in elementary school and junior high. Painting with water colour. I loved painting. I could sit and painted all day and worried about nothing else. I forget the precise time I stopped doing it regularly. Maybe growing up and going to another school that further away had robbed my leisure time ( I blame growing up most! ). 

And yesterday I found my old painting book in a pile of dusty books in one of cabinet at home! So glad mum hasn't throw it away. My paintings are not that preety though. I didn't use any special technique and I wasn't a pro of course. I did that because I enjoy it so much and I always think that drawing, painting, crafting, or any other artwork should be done without being told it's right or wrong and also done without compulsion and deadline! Yeah! 

Here are some of my childhood paintings..










Looking these old works surely makes me want to paint again. This is one perfect distraction!

Friday, September 7, 2012

about marriage and having a child

Hollaa!

Yep, after almost 5 months of absence, I'm back and I think I'm gonna talk about marriage. Weird enough huh? Well, topik seputar itu menggelitik saya akhir-akhir ini. This gonna be a sensitive topic dan saya tau bakal banyak yang gak sependapat sama saya.

Kenapa saya nulis ini? Mungkin karena hari ini, 8 September 2012, teman sekelas saya waktu kuliah dulu ada yg menikah. She's just the same age with me! Dan banyak lagi teman-teman seumuran saya yang sudah menikah atau akan nyusul secepatnya akhir tahun ini. Humm..

Kemarin malam saya nggak bisa tidur, akhirnya berakhir dengan cek timeline. Ada salah seorang teman yang meretweet tweet seorang artis yang sedang membahas topik #nikah. Secara garis besar artis itu bilang kalo nikah itu gak ribet dan gak butuh banyak uang, cuma butuh penghulu, saksi, dan diberitakan ke orang-orang biar gak timbul fitnah (itu sih menurut keyakinannya kayaknya). Tapi kalo liat dari sisi itu doang mah emang gampang, di Las Vegas juga bisa (eh, itu kejauhan deh).

Terus sempet liat juga tweet yang bunyinya begini: "Pilih mana, mapan dulu baru nikah atau nikah dulu  maka mudahlah untuk mapan?" To be honest, saya sih bakal jawab yang pertama. Saya sih ngeri aja kalo banyak yang pilih opsi kedua. Anak lulus SMA juga bisa langsung nikah dengan gampangnya kalo punya prinsip kayak gitu, abis nikah beranak deh, gak tau ngasi makan anaknya pake apa. Bakal tambah penuh kaya apa nih Indonesia? 

Kenapa saya pilih opsi pertama, karena saya percaya semakin mapan seseorang waktu berumah tangga, semakin siap dia membina rumah tangga itu sendiri. Mapan lahir batin loh yaa. Gak cuma mapan secara materi aja. Call me naive. Tapi menurut saya, itu salah satu faktor yang menentukan dalam rumah tangga, apalagi yang terpenting, kesiapan seseorang dalam mengurus anak nantinya kalo mereka emang mau punya anak.

Nah, sampailah kita pada topik setelah married: punya anak.
Di Indonesia, setiap orang yang udah nikah pasti kepengen punya anak. That's a part of culture I think. Kalo di luar negri, seperti US atau Japan, sudah banyak pasangan yang gak lagi memprioritaskan untuk punya anak. And they feel fine. And people around them just think it's normal. Well, rumah tangga lo ya urusan lo, gitu sih yang saya tangkep. Nah, kalo tinggal di Indo terus memutuskan untuk nggak punya anak? Siap-siap aja diomongin tetangga atau diusir mertua.

Lately, gw bertanya-tanya, sebenernya pasangan yang mau punya anak tersebut udah siap belom sih mengurus anak tersebut secara lahir batin nantinya? Atau sebenarnya cuma disuruh mertua? Atau menganggap itu sebagai bagian dari phase of life: lahir-sekolah-nikah-punya anak-nyekolahin anak-mati?

Mau cerita sedikit, waktu itu saya naik angkot dari terminal Lebak Bulus. Angkot yang saya naikin ini ngetem dulu nunggu penumpang penuh. Di dalamnya udah ada ibu-ibu lagi gendong anaknya yang masih bayi. Disampingnya duduk anaknya yang masih balita juga, maybe 4-5 years old. Ibu-ibu ini bawa tentengan banyak banget, sepertinya baru balik dari kampung. Karena banyak makan tempat, pas ada penumpang lain mau masuk, si ibu disuruh pangku anaknya yang balita sama si supir angkot. Terus, tau-tau dia manggil-manggil seorang cowok yang lagi berdiri santai di luar angkot sambil ngerokok. Oh, ternyata itu suaminya. Si ibu manggil si bapak biar masuk ke angkot trus bantuin pangku si balita. Surprisingly, si bapak keliatannya sedikit enggan dan bilang mau abisin rokoknya dulu. Astagaaa.. rasanya pengen nampar si bapak ngeliat istrinya kerepotan sendiri gitu. Walaupun akhirnya dia masuk juga dan bantuin istrinya, tapi tetep aja rasanya pengen jambak itu cowok. Mbok ya nyadar kalo udah punya dua anak, masih kecil2, bawa banyak barang pula, naik kendaraan umum pula. Otaknya ditaro dimana?? 

Nah, cerita di atas menurut saya hasil dari ketidaksiapan seseorang untuk jadi orang tua. Mikir gak ya dia waktu memutuskan untuk menikahi si istri, kalo dia bakal punya anak berapa, gimana nanti hidupnya bakal berubah saat dia sudah punya anak? Bagaimana dia harus merelakan waktu senang-senangnya untuk nemenin istri dan anak-anaknya? Bagaimana nanti dia usaha biar anak istrinya bisa hidup layak? Jangan-jangan cuma mikir enaknya malam pertama doang. 

Hal-hal seperti melihat ibu-ibu kerepotan nutupin bayinya pas lagi dibonceng naik motor, ibu-ibu muda ke mall dengan dandanan super stylish dan heels 10 cm lalu diikutin sama babysitternya yang yang gendong anak bayinya, bapak yang cuek sama anak-anaknya, dan lain-lain, bikin saya eneg. They should be a better husband, wife, mother or father. They should do their best for their children. It's about commitment! 
Those thingsalso make me afraid. I'm afraid I'm not qualified enough to be a wife or even a mother. Saya nggak mau punya anak hanya karena tradisi, saya nggak mau anak-anak saya lahir dan tumbuh salah asuhan hanya karena saya gak siap. I don't wanna have a child that raised and ask the same question like I did and think that mariage is scary and hard.

(tarik napas....)



Saya buat tulisan ini bukan berarti saya gak hepi sama teman-teman saya yang sudah memutuskan untuk menikah, bahkan yang sudah punya anak. I'm happy for you guys of course. Even, I also talked about marriage with my my boyfriend but always came to a conclusion that we're NOT gonna marry soon. ;)
Mungkin saya hanya belum siap. Mungkin suatu saat pandangan saya yang sedemikian skeptis ini bakal berubah. Mungkin tiap orang punya prioritas masing-masing, dan mungkin teman-teman saya yang sudah menikah ataupun baru mau menikah ini sudah punya rencana matang untuk mereka dan keluarganya di masa mendatang. Hope so... :')

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Leaving California :')

Holla!

I'm back. It's been a while, i know.
Well, now my life is sooooo much different since the last time I post on my blog. Yup! Been back to my lovely country, Indonesia (ngokss..), since March. Perasaan campur aduk waktu mau balik ke Indo. Seneng iya, sedih juga iyaa. Senengnya karena saya emang udah homesick berat dari awal taun. Udah ngebayangin ketemu kluarga, temen2, dan pacar yang pada kangen sama saya. Heheee.. But, I also feel that sadness, perasaan bakal kehilangan orang2 yang udah saya kenal selama setahun disitu. Well, I was a very shy girl there, I rarely talk, and I thought people wouldn't feel that loss if I went back to my country. But I was wrong. Waktu saya mau pulang, mereka sedih ternyata. Beberapa worker yang deket sama saya ngundang saya lunch dan kasi saya kenang-kenangan sebelum pulang. They were so sweet. :')
Last week I was there, saya keliling nursery naik sepeda, pamitan sama semua worker yang bisa saya temuin. Mereka peluk saya, bahkan ada yang cium pipi saya (that's part of their culture). It made me teary. Bahkan waktu perpisahan sama beberapa worker, saya beneran nangis and so hard to stop it. I feel like I didn't wanna go from there. :(
Office people also made me a farewell dinner. It's a week before my flight. Firstly, I hate that idea, cause it means I would be the center of attention and I hate it so much. But that's a tradition for all intern before they have to go home that I couldn't deny. I was so quiet that night, more quiet than usual. And when that part came, part that Luen (my boss) talked about what had happened in one year, talked about what I've been doing there, talked about how everyone gonna missed me, I just cried, cried, and cried. Oh my, even write about this makes me cry again. And when my turn to talk came, all I could say was 'thank you' with tears on my face. And then they gave me that card with pictures of me and their farewell messages.
I stayed in Luen's house two days before I went back. On last day, he took me to Santa Cruz, visited places I never had chance to see and patiently accompanied me bought some souvenirs. By the way, a month before I left, he always took me and other interns out on the weekend. He's reallllyy kind! 
And when Luen took me to the airport, I cried. Again. No doubt. I hate the fact that I was so sensitive and sloppy! He hugged me tight and said that I was a good girl, that I did a good job, and he gonna missed me (ow yeah I cry again remembering this). That moment, I feel really lucky to have a boss like him at my first working experience. He treat me and other intern just like his daughter/son. He was a boss, a teacher, a friend, and a father. And I'm gonna miss him a lot. :')