Tiger Mom

Holla!

Actually I have a lot to tell,, but I keep putting it off because I feel easily tired and feel sleepy sooner than usual. Omg, is that because I'm getting older and older everyday?? I remember when I was still in uni, I could sleep late almost everyday because of the never ending assignment. And noww? even at 8.30 PM I usually already start yawning. Arghh! Okay, before I fell asleep without writing anything, I better start now.. 

Tonight I wanna write a book review that finally I could finished after mmm.. about 6 weeks reading (or maybe more). Hehee.. The book is in english. <-- That's the answer if you ask why I need such time to finished it. Roughly, I just need a night or less than a week to finished a book in Bahasa Indonesia. For me, it needs more effort to read an english book. Sometimes in just one page there's more than 5 words that I didn't understand. So, usually I couldn't stand read more than 2 chapters a day. But I should proud of myself after finished a 237 pages book wrote in english with approximately 390 words per page, right? :p

pict from here

Ka Chiqa borrowed this book from Watsonville Public Library. She said this's a controversial book that told a true story about a very strict chinese mother and how she raised her two daughters. Then, I read the summary on the back of the book, it was said like this:

" Here are some things my daughters were never allowed to do: attend sleepover, have a playdate, be in school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than A, not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, not play the piano or violin. "

What the heck! That's popped up in my mind as I read the summary. I was curious about the author, Amy Chua, and how she rules her family and how her daughters deal with it. I never agree of parents insist their wants to their kids and that's why I wanted to read this book.

But wait, the idea of this book doesn't similar with the other true story book, The Child Called It, that told about a child that being cruely tortured for years by his parents. No, this's totally different. This's more about how she educates her daughters using 'brain' not physically.

I really don't like about what she thought about her parenting in the few first chapters. I thought she's an over confident show-off mother. She thought she knew what's the best for her daughters and that's made me sick. This's also become one reason why I need a long time to finished this book: I hate the main character of this book. Sometimes I feel like I didn't wanna continue to read it but the I read it again anyway.

Amy Chua herself is a Harvard alumni and now a Law Proffesor at Yale. Her husband is a Jewish and also a Yale Proffesor. She always compared Chinese parenting versus Western Parenting and bragged that Chinese's is better. She said childhood was a training period. She chose what instrument that she thought suits her daughter. She obliged her daughters to practice 2-3 hours everyday, even on the weekend and also in vacation! OMG! That's crazy! She's crazy, precisely! 

That's my opinion at the first time, but as I read, read, and read, I saw that she did quite a good job actually. Her daughter are a straight A student at school, really well spoken, and have many friends. In music, they won in several prestigious competition in a very young age. The result is undoubtly very clear. Her ways of strict parenting works! 

My hatred feeling to Amy is diminished. She's very consistent and demanding in raising her daughters and it's not easy. I saw that Amy was ready to be disliked and hate by her daughters. And, she's not only struggle with the obedient first daughter, Sophia, but also the rebel, Lulu, the younger daughter. She believed that her daughters could do anything that they themself thought they couldn't. She's not just demanding because she would give appreciation and something unexpected if they could do it very well. 

In the end, she just realized that her Chinese parenting could not applied to any child (which she had a big fight with Lulu on their vacation at Rusia because Lulu just couldn't stand it anymore) because every child is different. She also finally wanted to listen what her daughter actually wants and let them did it (She let Lulu played tennis). She showed that she's just a loving mom with unusual ways to showed it.

After reading this book, I randomly search at google how's her family doing right now and I found a fact that her daughters finally turn to be a brilliant girls that every other girl would envy. Even Sophia (that made it to Harvard) , who used to be a shy and loner girl, became a confident, smart, and has a good sense of humor. I found a video on Youtube that  Sophia was giving a speech on her high school graduation and on that video, someone left a comment that maybe Amy Chua doesn't make mistake after all that somehow I agreed.   

This book make me thinking about something: Every child doesn't know what they really want is, so parents have to guide them to find what they want to do for they future. It's not that I definitely will adopted Amy's ways in parenting whenever I have kids in the future. I don't want to be a tiger mom.

I just remember about 19 years back when I was still a toddler, I really like to draw and always won a competition and I also like to play with keyboard piano at my mom's school (my mom is a teacher). I'm wondering, didn't my parents saw my interest in that two things? Because they never push me to develop that talent, so now my ability in drawing is just mediocre and I can't play even just one music instrument. I don't want to regret what my parents have give to me all this time, I just want to do something different to my kids in the future. I will watch my kids closely so I know what they good at and will push them to improve their skill since a young age. It sounds easy right? I don't know what will the future brings, I just hope they can do better than me. Amin. ;) (btw, kok jadi ngayal punya anak ajee gw..)

Hasta luego!

Madre

Holla!

Saya baru selesai baca buku ini. Yang ngarang Dewi Lestari (Dee). Loh kok bisa udah baca aja sih sen? Itu kan buku baru? Hehee.. Ini saya dikasih pinjem sama housemate saya, Kak Chiqa. Dia penasaran banget sama novel barunya Dee ini sampe bela-belain beli online langsung dari Indonesia! Wew! Bagus sih, saya jadi kecipratan untung juga bisa pinjem,, hehee.

Sebelumnya saya baru baca satu buku Dee yang Perahu Kertas dan saya suka banget sama gaya dia bercerita disitu. Ceritanya fiksi dan berhubungan sama kehidupan sehari-hari gitu. Padahal kan sebelum-sebelumnya novelnya dia kayaknya yang berbau mesti-mikir-sedikit macem Supernova.

Nah, back to Madre, buku ini merupakan novel kumpulan cerpen kedua setelah Recto Verso. Saya sukaaa sekali cerita-cerita di Madre ini. Ringan tapi punya makna karena Dee ini kalo nulis cerita biasanya melakukan riset kecil-kecilan dulu. Contohnya cerpen Madre. Madre bercerita tentang seorang Tansen yang tiba-tiba diwarisi adonan roti sourdough yang usianya sudah puluhan tahun. Nah, dari cerpen ini, saya juga jadi ngerti istilah-istilah dalam perbisnisan bakery. Dan satu lagi yang saya suka dari Dee, dia selalu bisa bikin saya ketawa dengan percakapan-percakapan dan celetukan lucu si tokoh cerita, padahal ceritanya lagi serius. hihii..

Cerpen favorit saya di buku ini judulnya Menunggu Layang-layang dan Semangkuk Acar untuk Cinta dan Tuhan. Judul terakhir entah kenapa klik banget sama saya.. (Well, saya tau sih sebenernya kenapa,, ;))

Selain cerpen, Dee juga masukkin beberapa puisi karangannya. Biasanya saya nggak terlalu ngerti sama puisi (karena terlalu lemot -__-'), tapi kali ini saya (lumayan) ngerti and fall in love with it.

Ini cuplikan puisi berjudul Ingatan Tentang Kalian yang bikin saya tambah kangen sama Teng Tong Family, temen-teman saya di Arsitektur Lanskap. ;')

......
Sahabat, jika kita berpecah raga
Satu, jika kita memadu raga
Tiada, jika hanya jiwa
Inilah kenangan yang kucuri simpan
Saat kubersemayam dalam ranah yang mereka sebut keabadian
Inilah kenangan yang kusisipkan di sela-sela mentari dan bulan
Yang kelak mereka bisikkan saat kucari kalian
Dalam belantara yang dinamai kehidupan
.......

Kesimpulannya, menurut saya buku ini recommended sekali! Dewi Lestari bisa dibilang jadi Indonesian author favorit saya setelah Fira Basuki. So ayo segera beli bukunya di toko buku terdekat! (padahal saya aja cuma minjem :p)

Hasta luego!

Oei Hui Lan

Holla!

Kisah Tragis Oei Hui Lan, Putri Orang Terkaya di Indonesia' by Agnes Davonar

I just finished read this book. Buku ini saya beli di Indonesia sehari sebelum saya berangkat ke US. Maksudnya sih buat nemenin saya di pesawat dan transit di Manila selama 8 jam. Tapi akhirnya saya cuma sempet baca buku yang satu lagi (saya beli 2 buku, yang satu novel Kapitan Pedang Panjang by Fira Basuki, one of my favorite author) dan akhirnya baru kesampean baca ini sekarang.

Kenapa saya beli buku ini? Gara-garanya saya inget Raditya Dika (@radityadika) pernah ngetwit tentang si Oei Hui Lan, tokoh utama di buku ini. Jadi si Radit ceritanya lagi ke Malang dan pas di sana dia cerita ada hotel tua namanya Hotel Tugu yang konon angker dan di dalamnya ada salah satu lukisan yang horor banget, yaitu lukisannya si Oei Hui Lan ini. Kalo mau liat, klik sini aja yaa. Saya nggak mau pajang di blog saya, nanti saya ketakutan sendiri. Hehee.. Nah, pas ke Gramedia, saya liat buku ini dan jadi penasaran, apalagi dengan embel-embel 'kisah tragis' dan 'true strory'-nya, jadilah saya beli buku ini.

Jadi buku ini semacam biografinya Oei Hui Lan (1899-1992), menceritakan masa kecilnya sampe dia meninggal. Penulisannya dibuat seperti diary, jadi seolah-olah Hui Lan sendiri yang cerita. Jadi Hui Lan ini adalah putri dari pengusaha Oei Tiong Ham, salah satu orang terkaya pada masa itu di Hindia Belanda (sebutan Indonesia jaman dulu) karena berbagai macam usahanya mulai dari gula sampai opium (waktu itu opium masih diperjualbelikan secara legal). Disebut-sebut keluarga Oei ini punya rumah segede istana di Semarang dan punya 40 pembantu, 50 tukang kebun, dan 2 koki dari Cina dan Eropa. Hui Lan is a clever woman, dia menguasai 4 bahasa sekaligus walaupun dia nggak belajar di sekolah resmi (semacam homeschooling gitu dia). Dia cewek yang sangat berkelas: hobi dandan, hobi belanja, hobi ke salon, hobi pake perhiasan yang mahal-mahal, dan hobi traveling tentunya. Semasa hidupnya dia udah pernah tinggal di banyak negara seperti Inggris, Perancis, Amerika, dan Cina, and London is her favorite place to live. Dia menikah sama Wellington Koo, diplomat asal Cina yang disegani dan akhirnya menjabat sebagai menteri luar negri Cina pada saat itu. Teman-teman Hui Lan juga berasal dari kalangan atas dan orang-orang penting, salah satunya Putri Alice dari Monaco dan dia juga pernah diundang makan malam resmi by Queen Elisabeth. 

Well, sepanjang yang saya baca, kehidupan si Hui Lan ini emang glamour banget. Semasa hidupnya dia nggak pernah kekurangan apapun secara materi. Kemanapun dia pindah, dia selalu punya rumah mewah dan mobil mewah. Selalu pake baju bagus dan perhiasan mahal. Bahkan waktu dia masih muda dan tinggal di London, uang sakunya sebulan mencapai 400 poundsterling atau sekitar $2000. Gilee,, gaji saya sebulan aja nggak sampe segitu,, hehee. Dan dia bilang $2000 itu nggak cukup buat hidupnya selama sebulan disana secara dia suka party. Mantep banget dah.. :p

Tapiii,, walaupun dia kaya raya, bisa saya bilang hidupnya nggak bahagia. Mulai dari pernikahannya yang berantakan (suaminya punya selingkuhan dan nikah lagi), hubungannya dengan kakak perempuan dan Ibunya yang kurang akur, dan of course tentang perebutan harta warisan setelah ayahnya meninggal. Btw, Hui Lan cuma punya 1 saudara kandung, tapi saudara tirinya ada sekitar 40-an lebih karena Ayahnya menganut paham poligami dan punya banyak istri. Wew! Selain itu, dari cerita-cerita di buku ini, saya juga ngerasa Hui Lan selalu ngerasa kesepian.

All and all, buku ini bisa dibilang bagus. Banyak hal yang bisa dipelajari, mulai dari sejarah dunia termasuk ada bumbu-bumbu Perang Dunia ke-II sampai budaya dan sejarah orang Cina di Indonesia. Kekurangan buku ini salah satunya masih banyak kata-kata yang salah ketik dan jadi sedikit mengurangi kenyamanan saya membaca. Tapi, secara garis besar lumayan kok buat nambah-nambah pengetahuan. Terus saya juga jadi pengen  jalan-jalan ke Hotel Tugu Malang yang banyak menyimpan peninggalan keluarga Oei dan pengen ngeliat lukisan Hui Lan langsung dan merasakan sensasi bulu kudung berdiri kaya yang udah sering diceritain orang-orang, tapi yaa nggak sendirian juga kali yaa,, ;)

Well, dari buku ini juga ada pesan penting yang bisa diambil: being rich is not everything!  Bukan berarti tanpa uang sama sekali kita bakalan bisa hidup, tapi walaupun kita kaya raya, punya banyak uang, dan bisa beli apapun yang kita mau, belum tentu pada akhirnya kita akan bahagia. We also need a warm family and good friends to complete our life, so we never feel alone at last. :)

Hasta Manana! :)